Isn't it amazing how you can have all this motivation to reach for the stars and accomplish all your goals? You feel like you are going to soar above the clouds like it is a piece of cake! Then you wake up and realize that life does not always work that way. Ok...so you have to get realistic about your goals and how you will achieve them. You have to realize that any goal worth actually achieving has to take some work...an amount of effort that you can truly be proud of in the end.
Shortly after posting my first entry in this blog I ran into the first of many major obstacles that I know I will be facing on this journey. Plain and simple...SLEEP! I have been struggling with some sleep issues for roughly a year and a half, and have tried many things. Most people emphasize working out regularly to help you sleep, which I do firmly believe is true. After all, you tend to sleep better when you exert more energy throughout your day. I have not really found that I sleep better when I work out regularly. I find that I am still waking up numerous times per night, most times only sleeping two hours at a time. I have tried many things from relaxation techniques, working out, sleep aids, not eating before bedtime...etc. Nothing has worked to this point.
Here is where I am stuck...between wanting to wake up early and workout daily before work and needing to get some sleep. Sure, one may suggest that I workout at night. Fair enough, but that does not help the sleeping as working out does not make me tired, but rather gives me energy. I find myself struggling with not having enough time in the day as I am sure many people deal with. It would be helpful if I got quality sleep for the eight hours a night that way I could get out of bed feeling refreshed instead of worn out. Sometimes I will be in bed for ten hours simply because it is not good sleep and I am up so many times throughout the night.
This is an obstacle.
With all obstacles comes the chance to overcome these very things that are standing in our way! I know there will be many more to come and this same obstacle may pop up time and again. I have not found a solution. I simply recognize that this is the single biggest obstacle that I currently have and I am going to start chipping away at it and working my way around it. After all, that is what achieving is all about! So, I am going to force myself to get up and workout regardless of the amount or quality of my sleep the night before. I will listen to my body, but I am going to do it no matter how much I don't want to and I will hopefully find results in overcoming this obstacle sooner than later! Wish me luck!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
"Fat" Doesn't Scare Me!
The thing about being fat your entire life is that you don't know how to be any other way. You don't know what it feels like to wear a bikini or shop in "normal" size clothing stores. You don't know what it's like to feel your collar bones or wear a belt. You certainly don't know what it is like to sit comfortable on an airplane or walk into a dance club without the "skinny" girls gawking at you. There is a difference between those of us who have always been fat and those people who were once a thin version of their current selves. For those like me, fat is the norm in our lives.
It also seems that people like myself are more comfortable saying the word "fat" when describing ourselves. So many people frown upon that word as if it is a curse! How dare you use that horrible word? Ha, if it does not offend me, being the fat one, then why should it offend my thin counterparts? This is something I will never understand. After all, is saying things like chubby, fluffy, big, big boned, overweight, oversize, chunky, husky or hefty any better? To me it sounds like someone is afraid...maybe ashamed...to accept that they are fat! Then again, I have always been known to be overly blunt to the point of offending others. Maybe that is rather the case here.
Whatever you call it, being fat or overweight, is simply not healthy for anyone. I am not one who believes that the BMI is the best way to judge healthy as everyone is built differently, and aside from my weight, smoking habits and a slightly elevated triglyceride level, my numbers are superb! Not bad for a 330 pound 29 year old! However, not good enough either. A year ago I started living a healthier and more active life. I have made so many mistakes and taken so many backwards steps, but I have also lost 25 pounds that have managed to stay off even with my affinity for fried food. The goal here is to speed up the process a little bit. Though I am very happy with my ability to lose 25 pounds and keep that off for the past year, I know that I could have lost more had I stayed on track a little more and not let so much in my life "knock me down".
That is what this blog is all about. I have nothing to be ashamed about. I live my life for me. I am fat and working on losing weight. I am going to stick to my current plan which simply means eating healthier and exercising daily. I refuse to go on a "diet" as I believe the best way to maintain any weight loss must be through replacing my bad habits with good habits that I can continue for the rest of my life. I know there will be obstacles and bad days..even weeks! I also know that I can and will get healthier slowly but surely. With this blog, I will come and talk about all the good and bad things that may or may not affect my weight loss. This may be the food I eat or the current guy I am dating. It could be my emotions or really anything in my life that may directly relate to my weight or not. Let's be honest, everything in my life is going to affect how this turns out and it should. After all, I am not on some ranch or in a bubble where the real world won't affect me!
So I invite you to follow me. Follow my story and post your thoughts and ideas. I only ask that you save the negativity for someone else. As you will see as time goes on, I have plenty of my own negativity that I will not need anyone else's!
It also seems that people like myself are more comfortable saying the word "fat" when describing ourselves. So many people frown upon that word as if it is a curse! How dare you use that horrible word? Ha, if it does not offend me, being the fat one, then why should it offend my thin counterparts? This is something I will never understand. After all, is saying things like chubby, fluffy, big, big boned, overweight, oversize, chunky, husky or hefty any better? To me it sounds like someone is afraid...maybe ashamed...to accept that they are fat! Then again, I have always been known to be overly blunt to the point of offending others. Maybe that is rather the case here.
Whatever you call it, being fat or overweight, is simply not healthy for anyone. I am not one who believes that the BMI is the best way to judge healthy as everyone is built differently, and aside from my weight, smoking habits and a slightly elevated triglyceride level, my numbers are superb! Not bad for a 330 pound 29 year old! However, not good enough either. A year ago I started living a healthier and more active life. I have made so many mistakes and taken so many backwards steps, but I have also lost 25 pounds that have managed to stay off even with my affinity for fried food. The goal here is to speed up the process a little bit. Though I am very happy with my ability to lose 25 pounds and keep that off for the past year, I know that I could have lost more had I stayed on track a little more and not let so much in my life "knock me down".
That is what this blog is all about. I have nothing to be ashamed about. I live my life for me. I am fat and working on losing weight. I am going to stick to my current plan which simply means eating healthier and exercising daily. I refuse to go on a "diet" as I believe the best way to maintain any weight loss must be through replacing my bad habits with good habits that I can continue for the rest of my life. I know there will be obstacles and bad days..even weeks! I also know that I can and will get healthier slowly but surely. With this blog, I will come and talk about all the good and bad things that may or may not affect my weight loss. This may be the food I eat or the current guy I am dating. It could be my emotions or really anything in my life that may directly relate to my weight or not. Let's be honest, everything in my life is going to affect how this turns out and it should. After all, I am not on some ranch or in a bubble where the real world won't affect me!
So I invite you to follow me. Follow my story and post your thoughts and ideas. I only ask that you save the negativity for someone else. As you will see as time goes on, I have plenty of my own negativity that I will not need anyone else's!
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